Archive for March, 2006

Magazine subscriptions

Friday, March 24th, 2006

The next gripping installment in my series of stupid lists.

Fake magazines I’m glad not to subscribe to:

  • Autopsy World
  • Dental Plaque Digest
  • Crash Victim Photo Journal
  • Ultimate Ulcers
  • Toilet Mould Monthly
  • Sanitation Examiner


Friday, March 10th, 2006

Screeshot of the Coliposte tracking page
Vhere is ze printer, Lebowski?!

A printer was ordered two days ago for my home office in Paris. On the website it said “Delivery on the same day”, I was hopeful.
Yesterday I was given the URI to track the parcel and it said the package was ready in Lyon. It was ready to be delivered this morning when I reloaded the page. And it was still ready to be delivered at the end of the morning.

I reloaded the page in the early afternoon and it outrageously said I was absent when the first attempt at delivery was made! What?! I dashed to the mailbox to look for the slip of paper announcing the time for the delivery attempt. No slip in the mailbox.

So I called their number. I pressed star to proceed. And then I chose to press “2” in order to lodge a complaint. I gave the tracking number.

“Yes, Madam, you were absent when it was delivered.”
“Impossible, I didn’t go out of my apartment. Nobody rung the bell.”
“So you need to call that number again, press star and two.”
“This is what I just did, I pressed star and 2.”
“Then you have to do it again in 30 or 45 minutes.”

How frustrating. I called again a half hour later.

“Yes, Madam, you were absent when it was delivered.”
“I stayed home and nobody rung the bell.”
“You must have the notification of delivery attempt in your mailbox.”
“No, there was no slip of paper.”

The woman on the phone, Valérie, asked my phone number, wrote down the digicode for the entrance door, and said she would make sure the postman delivers the package on Saturday morning. She gave me a complaint number and said she would phone me in 48 hours to find out whether my parcel has been delivered.

/me crosses fingers that the postman actually rings our bell and delivers the printer tomorrow :)

walk it off!

Tuesday, March 7th, 2006

The other night I sprained my ankle in a restaurant due to an unfortunate combination of walking too fast, a glass of wine, the steep, uneven stone staircase and distraction (I think I was looking at something on the wall, but can’t remember for sure, since the sudden, painful, twisting, involuntary, on-tip-toes-with-waving-arms gestures I found myself making removed all other conscious thought from my head) .

The odd thing, in retrospect, was how determined I was, for the first 20 minutes or so, to not show there was anything wrong with me. It’s embarrassing to hurt yourself in public so I hobbled back to the table and though feeling more than a little faint, I tried to go on as normal (not very convincingly, I’m afraid). It was somehow difficult to admit I wasn’t ok.

Coralie said that I’d gone very pale and I realized the pain wasn’t going away, gave in and I said I wasn’t feeling well. Later, she quietly and graciously offered to let me lean on her as I walked down the hill toward the car and just letting myself do that, taking the help that she offered, took some effort but accepting her kindness was really moving in a way I didn’t expect (this was only the first of a series of really generous and caring efforts by her and other people to take care of me for which I’m humbly grateful).

I described to Eric later (as he was wrapping and icing my ankle) how, when I was trying to hide that I was in pain, I kept thinking of a line from a US commercial which ends with a farmer shouting out: “Walk it off, snack fairy!” and he laughed. We wondered if the humor of the “walk it off!” line is somehow uniquely American. I wondered too, if it was a cultural or individual attitude which made my first response to both try to keep from admitting I was hurt and amuse myself while doing so.