Archive for the 'by kris' Category

Happy Holidays

Monday, December 25th, 2006

Happy Holidays to all from Amy and Kris….. are you having nearly as much fun as we are?

Road Trip

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

I haven’t posted in months but i thought that the road trip that i am about to embark on was post-worthy!

In just 6 days a minivan will pull out of my driveway and head out for an 8 hour trip. Not too bad you say? well that minivan will be occupied by myself and my sister (if that was all it would be a blast) but then add a sarcastic 14 year old…. an 8 year old who thinks she should act like she’s 14…. and a 3 year old who never… i mean never….. stops talking! Ok i know…. that’s bad…. but now include a psychotic chihuahua and a pitbull with ADHD!!! YIKES….. (pity is appropriate here). I do not know why i put myself (and my poor sister) through such hell!!!

We (Amy and I) will not be able to listen to the music that we want to listen to…. either because “it’s not cool enough” (see previous post) or because “oooh mommy the CD just said the “f” word” or because we will be listening to the soundtrack to Disney movie Hell..

We will not be able to talk about what we want to talk about … either because “what we talk about is not cool enough” or because “oooh mommy you (or MiMi) just said the “f” word” or because we will be too busy suffering through the soundtrack to Disney movie Hell..

We can not stop at cool reststop gift shops…. kids will get lost or dogs will have a heat stroke (i speak from experience)…

We can not even eat real food…. we will drink juice from boxes and eat pb&j and we will be covered in cheerios by the time we get there…

All of this hell….. just to get to a small 3 bedroom cottage where there will already be 2 people and 2 dogs..(that makes 7 people..4 dogs.. in case you were wondering)… in a very small place..

our dad will make us… and i mean MAKE us eat pancakes and french toast so that we feel absolutely sedated…. i think that he does that so that we won’t run away screaming….

our mom will invite people over that she doesn’t know…. just because she’s an extrovert and she likes to make the rest of us introverts suffer in a major way….

BUT… my dear amy…. i promise we will sneak out for a smoke….. and play trivial pursuit while getting a little silly… because that is why i put us through such hell…. and it will all be worth it. If we survive!!

My wish for all who read this is that you all have a wonderful summer…

Well… I never posted this before the trip but now that I am back I need to revise it….. it is not an 8 hour trip…. it is atleast 10… thanks to the moustached customs agents… and various trips to fast food franchises… Dramamine works wonders for teenagers and small dogs but not so much for big dogs who just wake up randomly and bark because they’re not sure exactly where they are! And it is now official…. Grace does not sleep in the car no matter what the situation!! We spent 10 long hours… EACH WAY listening to her scream “scuse me…. scuse me….. SCUSE ME MIMI!!!!! She never stopped talking once the whole way… and expected us to acknowledge every statement she made.
Customs with Grace was fun…. on the way home she just kept screaming “Good God woman!! over and over again until we got to the agent” thanks to Amy who recommended we stop at duty free.

The best was when half way through the trip I was called back home for a job interview… Amy and I got to leave the kids behind and venture out for the 10 hours on our own… Toronto and Buffalo both have a rocking radio station that plays only the best of the 80’s so for atleast 3-4 hours of the trip we could do the robot, cabbage patch and variations of other cool dances while sitting in traffic.. Amy is correct when saying that Safety Dance needs more “whoos”!! We have also learned that I have an amazing ability to whistle GnR “Patience”…. not just a fluke.. I did it twice in the same trip!!!

Our trip was Crazy Fun…. and just a little Crazy…. And I can’t wait until next year so that we can do it all again!

Grand Master Grace

Friday, February 17th, 2006

It is a proud moment…. Grace has embraced Old School. I have been working diligently to get one of the 3 to enjoy RunDMC or Grand Master Flash and it seems that all the “tricky tricky tricky” (yet fun) work has finally paid off. Nothing makes me happier today than watching my little Grand Master Grace wander around (actually it’s more of a bounce w/ a sway) singing “don’t push me cuz i’m close to the edge… i’m trying not to lose my head… it’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how i keep from going under hoo hahaha”.

I must admit that she does a great job of mixing old with new. She even wears a bandaid on her face everyday for no apparent reason… I like to think that she’s mourning the loss of old school…. but it’s most likely because she’s 2 and bandaids are just plain cool. Oh well…. i’m happy anyway!

Listen to Grand Master Flash today and smile!

Where has the time gone?

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

Let me tell you…. my time has gone because I spend way too much time waiting on others… specifically 2 travelers whom I will not mention by name. It is approximately 6 hours from Boston to this small town where I have no life. Why is it then, that it always seems to take these 2 much…much longer to get here? It must be scientific phenomena. I realize that one must stop at every rest stop gift shop… and that one must “belly-ache” but really… come on now.

As I have freely admitted, I have no life. My life consists of 2 year olds with pink eye and limited political conversation skills (although, if you’ve read my other posts, you know that she has unlimited knowledge of swear words), a teenager who doesn’t have enough blood flow to the brain to have a conversation that dosen’t consist of “omg like can you like believe that like umm they like really umm said like that, huh.” 7 year olds seem to have the best conversation skills… if you want to discuss SpongeBob or how the school cafeteria ladies make the best food ever. These 2 travelers know this and yet still… make me wait. Maybe…just maybe I would have a life if they would ever just get here!

useless crap is right

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

I am sorry to fill the catagory of “useless crap” with such EXTREMELY useless crap but atleast I know that if you’re not interested you can just scroll down… hopefully for you the previous entry is not also one of my completely useless crap entries.

Today I spent the morning having breakfast with Santa and Emily (7) and Gracie (2). Kait of course was way too cool to grace us with her presence and besides… it was before her waking time of noon. I believe that Santa has quite possibly ruined Christmas for Grace… She spent the entire time crying and saying “I don’t like Santa… I don’t like Christmas” Of course, I should have know that this was the case she spent the whole time that I was decorating the tree swearing and spitting. I will say in my defense, that I truly try not to swear in front of my kids but occasionally I will utter “dammit” under my breath. She of Course has heard this and has also heard me yelling at Emmy for saying “o my God”. Therefore, just to test my disciplinary capability, she yelled “dammit…. God….. Dammit…. God” over and over while spitting on everyone and thing that she was near (something else that has gotten her in trouble before). She is truly a demon… with the face and voice of an angel!!!!

Each day, one of my 3 girls causes me some sort of stress…. today seems to be Gracie’s day. Not only does she hate Christmas now… she apparently hates clothes and the dog. I went outside for one quick moment and came in to find her naked… dumping sunblock into the dog’s food and water bowls. Her excuse: “it’s for Sophie’s hair”.

The only thing that she seems to like is teethbrushing. While naked she has wandered around the house for hours with a toothbrush and toothpaste telling anyone who is listening…”try it, you’ll like it”

I’d like to say that things can only get better from here…. but I know better. Around here, the best saying is “things will only get worse before they get better”. 13 years later and I’m still in anticipation of the “better”.

P.S. I do love my kids…. truly I do. In fact, couldn’t live without them!

my life….with a teenager

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

I am sure that anyone who reads these things thinks that maybe I am completely insane… it may be true but I do not believe that my insanity is inherited… it is truly only because I am the mother of a 13 year old girl. Yes, this is the time where you feel sorry for me and thank God and anyone else that you are NOT the mother of a 13 year old girl. These teenagers.. or as I like to call them “putrid bundles of fluff” have the ability to make any person over the age of 30 feel completely useless and utterly uncool. Useless I can handle but uncool….. that’s a hard one to get over.

Not even as a teenager myself was I so self-concious of what I was wearing and how my hair looked. Now… my pants are either too baggy or too tight… depending on the day. The flair of my bootcut jeans is s0o… not flair enough but yet if I wear flair… I’m just trying to be cool. If I don’t try… i’m uncool… If I do try…. I’m uncool. OH THE PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!

Even my music is uncool… even though I listen to (and have listened to for the last 15 years) the same music that they listen to. How is it that when I listen to AC/DC or GreenDay it is not the same as when they listen to the same?

I try to tell them that really they are the uncool ones because they have Farrah Faucett hair, wear bell bottoms and listen to 80’s music… it rolls off them like water on a duck (which may possibly be the uncoolest thing i’ve ever said…).

Either way… I may not survive this insanity and if I do I can pretty much guarantee that I will come out on the other side just as uncool as I am today.

Thanksgiving… or not

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday… I’m told. You share time with your family and give thanks for all that you have. What is it that I should give thanks for first..? Maybe I will give thanks for the things that haven’t happened… atleast haven’t happened today.
Here we go…
I am thankful that nobody has puked on me or anything else… today.
I am thankful that nobody has washed their hair in the toilet …today.
I am thankful that nobody has washed the dog in the toilet … today.
I am thankful that I did not find Kait and her boyfriend in a room alone with the door closed… today.
I am thankful that I did not have to watch Elmo or listen to Muzikgarten… today.
I am thankful that no police have shown up at my house for any number of reasons… today.

To me… this is alot to be thankful for. I would write more but I am too tired to think anymore due to the fact that the above list is the ONLY things that didn’t happen… today. Maybe tomorrow my list will be longer….. but since there is only a 1/2 day of school, I highly doubt it!